Mascara & The Baby Era: Goodbye's are the Worst

This weekend we attended two "Going Away Parties"

On Friday we spent the 4th of July with Family.

This is when we encountered our first goodbye of the weekend.

It was for my husbands cousin, Emily.

This beautiful girl is moving out of state to do something I am so proud of her for.

She is starting her job as a teacher for Teach for America.

If you don't know what that is, it is when a teacher goes to a city that is underprivileged and usually has a high crime rate, and teaches at one of the schools to try and help those kids.

She is incredibly humble and such an inspiration to me.

I couldn't be more proud of her.

I wish her luck, happiness and safety and the Grace of God be with her while she goes on this remarkable journey.

I am going to miss her so much.

We have had so many fun times together.

She is the sweetest person and she deserves the best in everything!

I love you Em!

Emily and I at my wedding.

Then on Saturday we spent the day with both of Jeff's Sergeants and their wives.

I have talked about Kim and Janelle a little before.

We spent many nights in group texts talking, freaking out, worrying, crying, laughing, and checking in with each other through the deployment.

So, I mentioned before that we went to two "going away parties" this weekend.

The second was for a family that will always hold an important place in my heart.

They are going full time Active Duty and moving to another State.

Tim was Jeff's Sargent while he was Deployed,

And Janelle, his wife, became more than a friend to me, she became a sister.

We didn't know each other until August 2013 (8 months into the 12 month deployment).

The unfortunate part of the National Guard is that since we weren't living on a base, we had to get in contact with other wives and families within the unit through our husbands trading their wives numbers and giving those numbers back to their wives (So naturally it took a while for us to finally get in contact with one another... Note to self, get in contact with everyone at the going away ceremony or it will take months).

**I won't even comment on what I thought of our FRG (Family Readiness Group) or mention the issues.**

Anyways, I finally was put in contact with Janelle in August.

Some people you know were truly handpicked by God and placed into your life.

Janelle is one of those people.

It turns out we lived 10 minutes from each other.

As soon as we met in person we instantly became close.

I was at her house or she was at mine multiple times a week.

Some nights I would pack Cooper up and head over and we would stay the night. Janelle and I would talk for hours about our worries, the good moments, and the extremely hard moments.

I can honestly say I have probably not cried with another person more than I have with her.

There was never any judgement on how un-bathed, un-clean or disorganized either one of us were with our lives. I have never been more open with a person besides Jeff than I was with her during the deployment.

She helped make a time that I will never be able to describe in words, bearable.

No matter how hard people may try to be there for you, truly no one understands going through a deployment like another wife.

Family members do their best to support you and they are helpful, but they don't understand the way another wife does.

Friends just don't understand either. They can invite you to things, they can talk to you, but you can never be as open with them. It isn't anything personal about them. They just can't fully grasp the situation like other wives. When talking to friends during a deployment, there is a facade you have to put on. You don't want to break down or sound petty for the little things you miss and they get to have. You also don't want to cause others to feel bad for you or for you to start feeling bitter because your friends have more contact with their boyfriends than you have with your husband.

But with other wives going through the same thing, that isn't there.

They understand the emotions you have to hide from everyone else.

(I don't mean for any of this to sound rude. I had an incredible family and some great friends that were a wonderful support system. There is just something different when it comes to the support you receive from another wife going through the same thing.)

I never understood what it was like to go through a deployment before I actually experienced one. I was oblivious of what happened behind the scenes of the situation. I have so much respect for the women who live on base in another state and go through multiple deployments without their friends and family there. Which brings me back to Janelle.

I have so much respect for her for picking up her life and moving away from all of her friends and family to live on base with her husband and their daughter. To go through this without everyone is scary. I wish so badly that I could be more of a support for her while she goes through this.

Janelle became one of the best friends I have ever had.

People always talk about the brotherhood soldiers gain.

But they rarely talk about the sisterhood the wives can gain.

I'm in tears writing this.

I just cant express through words what this woman means to me and how essential she was in my life during the deployment.

I am going to miss her so much.

I regret not spending nearly as much time together after our men came home.

Now we won't be able to.

We are both moving on with our lives, but the friendship and the sisterhood we gained from this deployment will with stay with the both of us forever.

I love you Janelle.

You are a rockstar.

God Bless you in your travels and all the new adventures your life is about to encounter.

You will be greatly missed.

Remember that it isn't goodbye,

It's see you later <3